Afraid – a poem by studentasim

Oh God, let me not be afraid
The root cause of so many problems
Fear
I can’t shake it off me
It’s deep inside
Hugging my soul
You won’t let me go will you?
Will you?
You jam my slightest movements
Yet I recognize circumstances
That can make one stronger
Exposure
I want exposure, but how can I, when there’s noise in my mind?
It makes me angry
To go back
and forth
back
and forth
How do I end this loop?
If I was to face fear like this
I would be more afraid
because I cannot think
I am fighting myself
before the fighting even begins!
I only have one solution
God
Oh God, give me power
To fight fear
I imagine a time
I imagine a time
I can see it now
I
and
Fear
Standing on a battlefield
Looking deep into each others eyes
Both of us, unwavering
But, something different this time
I am stern
I don’t move
I don’t quiver
No thoughts against me
My mindset, narrow and focused
I am with me
What is reality and what is fiction
Lies between now
and then
But what about the now?
My development will take years
I know this
I also realize I can be less fearful in some matter
If I work on myself
I realize this
I need to be honest with myself
How serious this matter is
I do not doubt, I will need every inch of my soul
To go against the power
That has vested in my core
But please give ability, God
To explore myself
To implore myself
What type of psychology is that?
To not be afraid?
To believe in something so much
That fear itself could run away
Wait
I realize something
Wait
Yes
Wherever it runs
I will be near
Because fear and I
are married
If I ponder
I will always be afraid
But
God willing, I could still be brave…