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I screamed at my father – a poem by studentasim

I screamed at my father
In that moment, I just did
Realizing, but persisting
Looking back…
But why should I look back?
What good is that?
This is my father
I can’t scream at him!
I believe the art of control is when you are in the moment
The calculations we make, so serious, so delicate
Yet I screamed at my father
What kind of person does this make me?
I need to be ready for that moment
Any moment
When I can make logical movements
Calculated through reflection
Not the reflection of the after
But the reflection of before
This training of the mind
My mind
Is paramount
Let me draw a line in the sands
And remember this time
For I cannot oppress the old, the wise
For I cannot oppress the weak, the ones who cannot fight
All of this is not strength, but absolute weakness
I cannot scream at my father
Oh God, if I am a person of any value
Please give me abilities to work with myself
To move with the currents
The trends of conversation
The emotions that exist between all of us
And help me make the right decisions
I know one thing
I’m ashamed of myself
And I’m serious this time
I screamed at my father
And I don’t want to do it again…

Published inpoetry